I don’t even remember how we met; or the first moments we had together before everything changed between us. He was older than me by two years, and I thought the world of him. I thought he was practically a god. He was funny, cute, and sarcastic at the same time, he was smart, a fast swimmer, and he even made it to national swimming competitions. I looked up at him all the time.
I think I might have loved him. Or whatever childish emotion I might have held for him before. Whatever. All I know is that he meant a whole lot to me. I never expected anything. Maybe that’s why I fell even harder when I found out that he had a crush on me, too.
I won’t go into the messy details of that first experience of ‘love or whatever you call it’, but it happened a long time ago. It scares me because it’s taking me a while to get over it; seven years to be exact.
Why am I bringing this up now, of all times? He appeared in my dreams last night, and he texted me, all out of the blue (in my dream, of course) and said something long that I don’t remember. But the only thing I do remember is the last line. “I miss all our times together. One more time?”
I miss him. Even though I’ve said a thousand million times that I’ve gotten over him, I still miss him. Even though I’ve gone through numerous crushes, had mutual understandings with other guys, and have actually been in one relationship, in the back of my mind, it’s always him. There are so many what-if’s in my head about him. Pierre.
I don’t know if first loves really never die. All I know is that they really do last a long time.