For some reason, two of my best friends, who have been with me through thick and thin, who have never abandoned me or ever scorned me, are missing.
And I have no idea what to do without them.
For the past years in my life, I’ve been entirely dependent on either or both of them, depending on which best friend I needed the most. At the time. And the thing is, they would always be there. Standing next to me at a moment’s notice. I know wholeheartedly that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those two in my life.
However; I realize that upon being dependent on them, I failed to truly recognize my raw skill and talent. I had grown up with the thought that I could take on the world with them at my side. And hey, it might be true. I think I just forgot to remember what it was like without Lady Luck and Count Confidence at my side.
Let’s start with my first friend; Lady Luck. She was a cheerful gal, always wearing my team colors and cheering me on. Lady Luck was the one I turned to during swimming competitions; she’d always have my back. Without training as hard as everyone else, I was still a star. Without placing or qualifying, I would always, somehow, find my place among the top. This was mostly because I had a couple of swimming friends who’d quit at the last minute.
Count Confidence was tall, dark, and mysterious. He was also incredibly smart, not to mention brave. He’d stand next to me, unseen, as I did things I never thought I’d ever do, like confess my undying love, speak in front of a crowd of a hundred or more, sing my heart out, and emcee the night away, giving me the comfort and confidence to pull it off.
When the Count and Lady Luck were together, though… I felt like I could conquer the world. The two of them made me feel like I could basically do anything and get away with it, no repercussions or consequences involved. They made me feel powerful; loved. They made me feel like I was unstoppable. The Count and Lady Luck helped me attract miracles.
I wonder when I started becoming addicted to relying on luck, and basing my skills on confidence.
You see, the thing is, I’ll be joining an international research congress this Friday, presenting my thesis in front of people I don’t even know. Heck, the only people I’ll know will be my two teachers, and three classmates. Just five people. In a crowd of certainly more than a hundred.
It is five days before the congress and the Count and Lady Luck are nowhere to be found.
Here’s to me pulling it off without them, or falling and crashing horribly just because I don’t know how to act without my two best friends.
And here’s to me hoping that it will be the first.