"Forever's an awfully long time."

Archive for May, 2014

Chances are…

He was the high school senior that everyone went ga-ga for. Including me. He was tall, athletic, funny, and good with kids. He was amazingly nice and had a smile that reached his eyes and went straight down your throat and into your stomach. He wasn’t the first one for me, but he was the first one who wiggled his way into my heart, and stayed in my good graces. The first one to help me forget I was hurting. The first one who never hurt me.

He broke my rule of ‘not falling for anyone who was loved by all’. He was the one who made my heart flutter again after that first heartbreak. He was the one who smiled at me from across the pool and would look away when I tried to look closer. He was the one who asked for my number and texted me during the wee hours of the night. He was the one who called me when I was sick and spent hours talking on the phone to me about swimming and everything under the sun. 

He was cliched moments. He was distractions and smiles and butterflies. 

He was September all the way to February, he was the itch that I couldn’t get rid of. 

He was the recipient of my stares behind darkly tinted sunglasses. He was the knight in shining armor that saved me from hurt and from bullies. He was the voice that brought me back to earth when my favorite pet died. He was the big, boisterous laugh that I adopted. He was the guy who knew when to high-five me when I didn’t get a medal. He was the guy I went to the pool for. He was the first one to tell me, besides my family, that he loved me. 

I was fearful of reJection, fearful of hopes and dreams and making the same mistakes. I was a sophomore. I thought I knew everything. I thought treating those words as nothing would be normal. I thought I was going to get hurt again. 

He slipped away and I never regretted anything more. But to my surprise, he stayed constant in my life. Periods when I would see him and we’d act like nothing happened. Little shoulder punches, winks and jokes that were nothing. Cheering for me during competitions. That smile I loved so much.

Nearly six years pass. 

Now he is still a friend. He is still an itch I get every few times a year when we meet. We meet rarely, yes, but we meet. We don’t text anymore, but when we see each other it’s like my world stops turning. He is still smiles and jokes, is still winks and shoulder pushes. I don’t swim anymore, but this time it’s my sister he cheers for. He got a bit chubby, but he’s still the heartthrob the girls sighed for. 

He is still a smile, and a little jolt in my pulse when he passes by. He is still blushes and stares from behind sunglasses. He is still high-fives and secret moments, he still sticks up for me when people tease me. He is still a flutter in my heart, even though he shares that flutter with someone else. More than that, more than all of those things, in his eyes, I see that he is a chance. A chance that blossoms every time we meet. It won’t be a flower tomorrow (which is the next time we’ll see each other), and it won’t be a flower next week… but when it grows, it will become a chance to start again, a chance to take back my laughs and nonchalance. I like the sound of that. A chance. 

A beautiful chance. 

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Wading Deep In

Feet bare, I feel the cool, rough sand beneath my feet.

Ready to step in, but afraid of the cold waters that hold unseen dangers

Inviting me in, teasing me and telling me that this is the best

Eclipsing the feelings of fear are those of longing; I want to wade deep in.

Never have I felt like so. I let my mind wander, not knowing that the water is already to my ankles

Deeper I tread, feeling tendrils of ice around my feet, daring me to fall back. But no.

Zinging up my spine are tendrils of ice. How can something so wrong feel so right?

Over and over I tell myself I can’t. Over and over again my feet wade further into the surf.

Night falls and I’m still here; water waist high and not getting any warmer. Tomorrow comes.

Even then I know that I’m not leaving these waters.

An acrostic.

The girl with the humongous headset

In my classroom, I am known as The Girl with the Enormous Blue Headset. Or earphones. Whatever’s plugged into my ears at the moment. When teachers remind the class not to listen to music during an exam, or have earphones in while there’s a class tour, I know they mean me. And my classmates know that, too.

I’ve been known as The Girl with the Headset (TGH) for so long that my classmates have somewhat adapted to me. They know that they should always tap my shoulder before talking so that I know someone’s talking to me. The thing is, they do it even though I’m not plugged in. And they remind others to do it too, and I know that because I can hear them clear as day… if the song’s as soft and slow as ‘A Thousand Years’ by Christina Perry.

My music taste ranges from screamo bands to acoustic covers and pop rock punk songs to Disney Original Soundtracks. I’ll be the one who’ll be humming ‘On My Own’ from Les Miserables, then snapping her fingers to “Royals” by Lore and then headbanging to Fall Out Boy’s ‘The Phoenix’ the next.

I’m a fan of a lot of artists, bands, and movie OSTs. For example, my songs consist artists, bands and OSTs such as but not limited to: Katy Perry, Disney movies, Swedish House Mafia, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, MCR, Escape the Fate, JLo, High School Musical, One Republic, Metallica, AC/DC, Backstreet Boys, Guns n’ Roses, Taylor Swift, Bonjovi, Michael Jackson, Rocket to the Moon, Linkin Park, P!nk, Boyce Avenue, Aviicii Nick Pitera, Frozen, Britney Spears, Rrihanna, Falling in Reverse, Tangled, Les Miserables, Adam Lambert, Phillip Phillips, Ellie Goulding, The Script, David Guetta, The Last Sleepless City, Passenger, Pierce the Veil, Eminem, Emile Sande, Phantom of the Opera, Nickelback, David Archuleta, Christina Perri, Avril Lavigne, Miley Cyrus, Paramore, Glee, Alex Goot, Sleeping with Sirens, John Legend, Green Day, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Pitbull, the Jonas Brothers, Lawson, Christina Aguilera, King the Kid, Skrillex, Maroon 5, Demi Lovato, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, The Vamps, even One Direction! I’m not such a fan of the band, but there are songs I can’t help but bop my head to.

The only thing you WON’T find on my phone is Justin Bieber, so don’t even ask.

Anyways, after that long, diverse list that’s just there for the sake of proving that I like anything I find good under the sun… Girls think it’s weird. Guys think it’s cool. Gays think I’m lesbian. Young kids think I’m old. Old people think I’m immature. Me? I think nothing of it.

You see, music doesn’t denote stereotypes. I mean, isn’t the normal stereotype for people who listen to screamo, metal, and hardcore music something like, ‘rebel’, ‘delinquent’, ‘unhappy with life’, or something like that? I don’t think that’s true. The same goes that if you’re a guy who likes Lady Gaga, you’re not necessarily gay.

My conclusion?

I’m just a girl with a wide taste of music. A completely normal girl who thinks guys are hot and would like to dedicate metal songs to them. Is that such of a deviant behavior that I should be condemned for it?

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The movie I didn’t entirely regret.

So I watched a much-awaited movie with my friend earlier. (Thanks, master.) And well, this isn’t going to be a movie review. This is going to be a compilation of the thoughts that I had before, during and after the movie. Without spoilers, of course.

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Need I mention the movie’s title? Okay, okay, I will. Amazing Spider Man 2. 

Pre-Movie

As I was offered the chance to see the movie as a treat, I didn’t really have time for it to sink in. You know, that feeling when you’re on the way to the movie theater when you’re like, “Oh, my goodness. I am going to see The Avengers/Maleficent/The Fault in Our Stars/MUST – SEE MOVIE OF THE YEAR today with my family. This is going to be so exciting!” And you feel so happy and excited for the rest of the trip that you’re practically jumping by the time you’re entering the mall.

Another pre-movie experience was the fact that I was well aware of the ending because of some certain spoilers from both riends and the internet. And I guess it’s safe to say that that ruined nearly the movie experience. *sighs* 

If I could give you one tip, one tip ever…

DO NOT GO ONLINE. EVER. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN A CERTAIN MOVIE YET. 

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Movie Time! 

My over-all feelings and thoughts of the movie were… Well, both me and my companion, both spoiled by the outside world, thought that it was the most depressing movie in the world. Besides, you know, the first five minutes of Up, or Titanic. Putting all that aside, we both agreed that the spoilers had ruined our view of the movie forever, and if we hadn’t known what was going to happen, ASM 2 (because it’s getting kind of tiring to type the whole movie title) would have been pretty good.

Now, I’m more of a DC girl than a Marvel girl, and the Spiderman plot line (and the X-Men plot line, but that’s another story) is one I’m not very familiar with. But based on some of my friends, it was actually pretty accurate, more so than the first movies starring Tobey McGuire. Maybe when I’m familiar with the comic’s plot, I’ll come back and confirm this fact. 

Most of my praise, though, goes to the cast. I also enjoyed Andrew Garfield (because who doesn’t enjoy Andrew Garfield?) and Emma Stone’s relationship on screen. I found myself wishing (countlessly) that I could find someone as tall, funny, and carelessly handsome as Andrew. I also commend Dane de Haan for his portrayal of Harry Osbourne. 

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While I was watching the film, I couldn’t help but point out the difference between de Haan’s Harry and James Franco’s Harry. If I were to choose between the two, I’d definitely choose de Haan. He pulls off the ‘rich, spoiled brat’ air that I think Harry Osborne should have. Not to mention that for some reason, he had me (and the girls behind me) noticing how pale blue his eyes were, and the appeal

Oh, the appeal. I think you know what I’m talking about. *wiggles eyebrows* 

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Post-Movie

Let’s see, let’s see, how do I go about this without spoiling anything to the readers?

I just decided. I can’t. Saying anything else would ruin the thing entirely.

Summary of Feelings.

It’s a pretty okay movie. Like I said in the title, I didn’t entirely regret it. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that my 200 pesos (technically, my friends 200 pesos) were a complete waste. Everything in the world has a good side and a bad side, right? It’s just up to you to see if the director and producers efforts were enough to make you like it. 

PS. Be prepared for a whole load of lens flares. 

The day I OD’d on caffeine

I used to be one of those kids who’d say that they’d never drink coffee because it was gross and was ‘for grown-ups’. I mean, who wasn’t? I’m sure none of us grew up saying that they couldn’t wait to become a grown-up just so that they could drink coffee. I admit; I thought coffee was the most overrated thing in the world back then. Next to soap operas.

And I managed to hold out on the caffeine when my classmates and friends in high school started drinking cappuccinos from Starbucks and Bo’s. I also managed to tease my classmates and friends about becoming old. But when I enrolled in Nursing and started college, things changed. Requirements for my duty, assignments about the extensive anatomy of whatever system we had been discussing earlier in the day, or some other mundane thing that was due the next morning, got me started on pulling all-nighters. Yes, these nights were the worst nights of my life, and I hated doing them, because I’d feel like complete crap the next day.

But one day in my second year of college, I failed to pass this one assignment, because I fell asleep smack in the middle of it, and woke up with saliva all over my report. I realized I needed something to keep me up during the night so I could pass the damn thing, and something to keep me up during class so I wouldn’t fall asleep during that

I turned to coffee.

It took me one cup to get used to it, and I snuck some of the insta-coffee that my mom used to keep in a jar in the kitchen. One cup was good. But I wanted more. So I had one more cup. And it kept me going. 

Now, once a few months had passed and nearly all of my classmates had sunk into the addiction that is caffeine, and I was stunned to realize that some people started getting really weird side effects after only two cups. Their heart would pound really fast, their hands would tremble, and they’d get jumpy over anything.

The thing was, I could down like 5 cups of coffee and not feel a thing. Yes, that’s right. 5 cups. I’d feel fine afterwards, sometimes, the five cups made me feel better – better enough to fall asleep. I’d even drink coffee when I needed to calm down, or clear my head when I was writing. I thought I could handle anything

Until the day I craved iced coffee. 

I drank some of my mom’s iced coffee from McDonald’s the other day, and I found it wonderful, refreshing, and revitalizing. The next day, I wanted some. I needed some. And I was stuck in the house for the day. Since the instant coffee we had was 3-in-1 (y’know, with Coffee, Milk and Sugar in it already), all I had to do was stick ice in it. And for an added pleasure, I added half a teaspoon of sugar to make it sweeter.

I was in coffee heaven. (Yes, it was that good.) 

I finished the mug, and thought, hey, why not have another cup? And this time, I served it in a tall glass. 

I had two glasses, and suddenly, I felt like I needed to throw up. So I stopped after the 2nd glass. 

That was when I started to feel the overdosing agony that my classmates had described. My heart felt like it was pounding a thousand beats a minute. My hands were trembling so hard, it was scary. My head felt light, and I jumped at everything. 

I guess the moral of the story is either that a.) Too much of a good thing can kill you, or b.) Everyone has a limit. I thought it was a special power of mine to be able to down 5 cups of coffee without feeling like I had a hangover. It was the first time I had overdosed on coffee, and it was horrible, and I never wanted to drink iced coffee again.

But let’s face it. We all know that I’m going to be drinking my homemade iced coffee again, sometime next week. Maybe when my headache’s gone? *wink*

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