"Forever's an awfully long time."

Archive for November, 2013

So, shoot me.

Okay, not literally. But I am going to tell you all something that is such an unpopular opinion, that people will probably want my head on a stick. I am going to tell you the one thing I’m sure will get so much negativity from my friends and sister, and I won’t care. I will defend this say to the best of my debating abilities, but I hardly think it matters.

Alright, here goes.

I actually like Miley Cyrus.

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Now, if you know me, you’ll know that when I don’t like something, I will scream it to the heavens. I will tell you that One Direction isn’t exactly my cuppa. I will roll my eyes when people call themselves Beliebers. But I won’t actually hate on them. I voice my opinions, but I won’t scathingly belittle these artists. I mean, sound’s a preference, right?

But lately, a certain someone’s performances in public have started getting her a lot of attention. And I’ve been wanting to write a blog post about this special person, but I’ve only had the chance to do so now.

So ladies and gentlemen, here it goes: My defense against why I actually like Miley Cyrus.

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Okay, so I admit that she annoyed me a little as Hannah Montana. But I was hard-headed and rebellious at the time, and I immediately disliked anything that had to do with cliched girly girls. (I now see how hypocritical I was at that time, because I actually used ‘Cheese Niblets’ as an expression before. Yes, I did) When Miley grew up and started moving onto bigger projects like The Last Song, and making her much more mature music, that’s when I started seeing that, okay, this chick ain’t so bad.

Because who doesn’t love the classic love song when she starts crooning out lyrics like, ‘When my world is falling apart, when there’s no light to break up the dark, that’s when I, I, look at you’. And when we were heartbroken, I’m sure we all screamed out the lyrics to ‘7 things’. Yeah, I thought so.

Not to mention that she’s beautiful. In my humble opinion, of course. I mean, her eyes. Her body. Her hair (which she chopped off recently, but well… It’s like a Brittney Spears move, and no one’s talking sh*t about her (Spears) now, right?)

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Oh, and I won’t lie and say I didn’t find her songs ‘I Can’t Be Tamed’ and ‘Who Owns My Heart’ to be horrid. No, I actually liked them. Danced around a bit to them. The thing is, my thoughts on Miley were starting to improve. Even though I kinda agreed with the critics who were saying she was getting a bit too wild, I didn’t think about it like that. I thought of it more like, hey, she’s growing up. Let her grow up.

Actually the whole thing started blowing up when she cut her hair. And I mean, come on. It’s just her hair. Why was everyone going all apesh*t (sorry, the number of times I will swear on this blog post will be quite a few. I rarely let loose like this. No, actually, it is my first time to swear on a blog post. I’m sorry.) over that? A ‘sign of rebellion’?

Okay, there might have been a few issues about racy photos, and talking back to her parents, and the clothes… But she was growing up, what can you say? Who are we to decide what she’s going to wear, or be, or how she’s going to act? I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if people started making random comments about the picture you posted on Instagram, or the clothes you wore to go to the supermarket.

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See, look at how sad you’re making her.

I know I made one of the weakest arguments ever, but I couldn’t help it. I like Miley Cyrus (no homo). I think she deserves all the awards she’s been given, despite her going bare in a music video, lighting a joint on stage, and grinding into Robin Thicke. Putting all that on the table, even if what she did was wrong, it was her choice. She’s not exactly saying she’s the best role model for little girls; Miley is not Hannah Montana anymore. In the end, I listen to her music because of the beautiful sound that comes out of her heart, not her style.  She’s 21 years old and she has a life.

Oh, and so do you. So haters, stop hating. There’s a way to voice out your opinion politely. PEACE OUT AND PEACE TO THE WORLD.

On another note, Happy Birthday to Miley. November 23, I think? 😀 And I know this blog post wasn’t exactly the best defense. Hey, there are more holes in here than I can count. But I don’t like people giving sh*t to people who are just being people.

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I Know You

In a crowd of a million people, I’d know the back of your head. I’d be able to see you, pick you out; just give me a telescope and I’d find you. I know you.

Blindfold me, and let me touch a thousand hands. I’d pick out yours. I know your hand.

Have everyone I know write an anonymous message to me. I know what you’d say. If it were handwritten, I’d say know your handwriting.

Let me cover my eyes, and have people talk to me. I’d know who you are. I know your voice. I know your laugh.

I know your experiences, your secrets, your dreams. I know how to make you happy. I know what to say to make you smile; I know what not to say to piss you off. I know when to leave you alone, and I know when you need a hug.

So why do I have to be punished for knowing you?

The memories I shouldn’t remember

It is that moment just before I close my eyes to sleep that I start to remember what I shouldn’t. And once I’ve started thinking about it, I can’t stop, and there’s a waterfall of memories flowing into my brain, into my heart, and into my dreams.

I see a boy and a girl, stolen glances never caught, and finally a confession. Memories keep streaming in, I don’t know what to do to stop them.

They whisper at 3:45 in the morning; his sister might hear them, her friends might wake up. A reckless sixteen year old and an inexperienced, innocent fourteen year old, making promises that they knew they couldn’t, wouldn’t keep. Their hands are entwined, lips not touching. The room is white walls, green couches and fluffy pillows. Their love is the innocent puppy love that only children can have. They evolved from crushes, but never moved onto something more.

I remember laughs and teases, guitars, songs and dark brown eyes. 

Their friends are all aware, prods and pushes are made almost every day. They never get mad, they take it in good stride, although she tries to deny it, and he just laughs. Although they hover in between what a relationship is and isn’t, they enjoy where they are. For now.

I hear his voice, and what it won’t say.

Her face crumples when he ignores her for the first time. So this is what rejection is, she realizes, and hopes it doesn’t last. She tries everything from trying to joke, to giving him space. She asks his friends, and keeps it in her heart. She reaches out to him after practice, and he shrugs her away. That is the last time she tries. And it is the last time she looks at him straight in the eye.

I never know what made him change, and I guess I’ll never know. I can’t, however, stop thinking about those memories.

I remember memories I shouldn’t remember. I relish the pain it brings me. It makes me a sadist. I remember memories that I don’t want to remember, and sadly, there’s nothing I can do about it. Once you start remembering, you can never stop.

Author’s Note: This story is part of another blog challenge with my crazy friends.

My favorite things

I was scrolling through my old blog posts, contemplating on how dramatic and in love I sounded (and probably will still sound for the rest of my blogging career), and I realized that I write more about feelings than actual things about myself. I’d like people to know things about me, and I’d like to be able to express myself. I have these moments sometimes while I’m writing and I suddenly think, wow, I never knew I could be that deep. I’d love more of these moments. So that’s how I came up with this blog post: My favorite things. I will limit them to six. Six because that is my number. 🙂 Oh, and THINGS, not PEOPLE. So don’t ask me why family and friends and God aren’t on the list. 😛

(In no specific order, though)

1. Writing. This is easily the first thing that came into mind. I express myself through writing poems, stories, fanfiction, and little rants. It is one of my favorite things to do in the world, and when I’m feeling sad, happy, or anxious, you can find me typing away at the keyboard, or writing little poems in the margins of my notebooks. I also use my writing skills to fulfill my dreams and wishes; I usually do this through fanfiction. For example, in Harry Potter, Fred Weasley dies. In my fanfictions, no one dies. In my fanfictions, I am suddenly in a lovely relationship with a celebrity. (Yes, this is what dreams are made of.) I’ve been writing since Kindergarten. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

2. Harry Potter. Hands down, this is the best book series that has ever existed; in my opinion. Harry Potter is my life. When it ended, I started wondering what I would do in my life; I had lived through the books and movies, and the special merchandise… How could it just end? I still found ways to love Harry Potter by joining Pottermore, and becoming an admin on Facebook pages relating to Harry Potter. I can’t say any more, or this would just turn into a full on rant. Moving on.

3. Books. Okay, so there are books other than Harry Potter that I consider my loves. It’s Harry Potter that just deserves one entire paragraph to itself. I love books, especially ones by Rick Riordan, James Patterson, Nora Roberts, Patricia Cornwell, Karin Slaughter, John Green, David Levithan, Nicholas Sparks, Veronica Roth, Dan Brown, and many more. Some of the books I’ve read that deserve to be typed in bold are: Inferno, the Percy Jackson series, the Heroes of Olympus series, Will Grayson Will Grayson, Divergent, the Iron Fairy series, and the Fall of Five series.

4. The internet. Aaaaaah, the internet. Without this beautiful, beautiful, thing, I wouldn’t be able to publish some of my writings online, I wouldn’t be able to watch things that make me smile on Youtube, (I wouldn’t be able to see Dan and Phil oh the horror), and I wouldn’t be able to download anime and the episodes of Glee that I missed.

5. Anime/Manga. (Because I can’t choose between the two) I first identified myself with an otaku, before I really thought of myself as a writer. I started off with Naruto and Bleach, and from there, I haven’t regretted the path I’ve gone down with these. Besides those two, some notable anime/manga series that I love are Shingeki no Kyojin, One Piece, Fairy Tail, Mirai Nikki, School Days, Ouran, and so much more.

6. My bed. Nowhere else compares. Seriously. Especially when it’s made clean and warm.

When reality slaps you in the face

I have just been slapped in the face. 

It was like a cold bucket of water. Funny how we become so blind in love that we tend not to see anything else in front of us. Funny how stupid we act when we’re in love. 

Funny that I can’t stop loving him, not now and not yet.

But I know that reality is cruel, and I have just been slapped in the face by it. 

You were never the right person to fall in love with.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about this now, and I’ll probably regret posting this a few weeks from now, but for now, this serves as a sort of warning to me. 

He is making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. And it’s not those ridiculous bubbly happy feelings, either. It’s bad feelings.

Guilt.

Anger.

Like I’m not worth it; literally.

He makes me feel bad about myself, and I know I shouldn’t. Why should I be giving him my time when he can’t be bothered with anything else, apparently?

I hate this.

I don’t hate him. 

I still love him.

But I still hate this. 

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