Whenever I see them, they never have anything good to say about me. Never, “Kaitlin, you’re almost graduating! I’m so proud you’re a nurse!” Never, “It looks like you’re dealing with the stress.” Never, “I’m sure you’ve learned so much.” Never, “You’ve matured.”
Always, “You got so fat.”
Always, “You look like a boy.”
Always, “Your hair is all messy!”
Always, “Your face is oily!”
Always always always always criticizing my looks. Never never never never looking deeper.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a level head on (at least, I think so…) and I’m proud of my body, and I love how I look. I’m not suicidal, no, I’m far from it. But the fact that there are so many people who I have known since I was, what, ten? and that they still criticize me like that, in a way that isn’t constructive criticism at all, hurts me.
I thought better of you all.
You are supposed to be mature. You’re older than me, and all of you have children. I would have thought that you would act like the mature adults you’re supposed to be, and yet, sometimes it seems like you’re all my classmates in high school, and we’re playing the ‘she’s-better-than-you’ game. I would have thought that you would know better than that.
I used to look up to you guys, one of you is even a professional in the course I am going to graduate from.
I’m only putting this in my blog because despite everything you guys say to me to make me feel bad about myself, I still respect you. I would never have the guts to say this to your face.
So, I’m about to go and see you guys again; I can’t really help it, I have to see you guys. But I know that you’re going to try and criticize me again. I’ll laugh; as usual. Just keep on firing those damn bullets, sweethearts, because you’re never going to get anything from me.