"Forever's an awfully long time."

Archive for July, 2013

Unconditional Love, Beybeh.

So I was randomly reblogging gifs on tumblr, when I got an anonymous ask in my inbox. I opened it, and there it was: “Who do you love? No, not in that romantic way, not in that family way, either. There are people you love in life, people that you love so unconditionally and people you’d do anything for, but you don’t have a relationship with them, and you’re not blood-related. I know you have one. Or two. Or five. Rant about them and tell them how much you love them.” 

…. I didn’t even have to think twice.



I have known them for less than a year. Yes, I repeat: LESS THAN A YEAR. But it seems like I’ve spent eons with them, like I’ve spent a lifetime with them. 



It sounds really corny and everything, but I think that I found my happiness with them again. I learned how to smile again, and I learned how to literally laugh out loud with them. 



I might sound a bit ‘OA’ for making this post, but I couldn’t resist. I mean, they’re like family. They’re like a friend, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband and children all wrapped up in one big beautiful package. 



I love flaunting all these wonderful pictures and all the great memories we had in this almost one year (AJ, Rish, Jo, Jess, Yin, Lloydie, I will have known you for a year this coming August, Kai, Gail, Rapp, Pearl (okay Pearl, we’ve known each other for more than a year), Ren, Pat, Peht, this October), but mainly this is just to show you guys that I APPRECIATE YOU ALL SO MUCH :’D 



I mean, what’s not to love about these guys? Here are some reasons.





3.) You need Math homework done? We’ve got soon-to-be-engineers. You need a reaction paper? We’ve got writers. You need help in anything creative? We have artists. You need computer help? Yes, we have a soon-to-be computer engineer, as well. You need help in academics in general? Valedictorians, Salutatorians, and Dean’s Listers, baby. You need medical assistance? There’s a nurse. You need a vain partner? Heck, we’re ALL here. (Sounded like an advertisement HAHAHA)




5.) There’s always someone to hug you when you’re feeling down. Or if you just need a hug in general. (Awwwwwww.)


6.) With them, you learn something new every day. Something RANDOM. 


7.) We come up with the best dares during card games that last until 4 in the morning. (Dawn Zulueta, Lupang Hinirang, froggie2x, shouting in the CR, and a psalm are some choice words)


8.) You’re laughing 24/7 with us. Unless, you know, it’s deadline week and everyone’s on their toes, but we all still love each other.


9.) Singing in general becomes more fun. (Have you tried singing 5-6 different songs at the same time? YOU MUST TRY. ALL SONGS LITERALLY MIX WITH EACH OTHER. Another thing I learned.)


10.) Like I said earlier, being friends with them is like having a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, mom, dad, husband, wife and children all in one group. 


11.) You can just burst into laughter for no reason and…. never mind, they’ll still think you’re weird XD 




12.) Because you know them, it’s the same. They just GET you. They KNOW you. And they still accept you. (I guess we’re starting to get a bit deep, now.)


13.) You learn more about yourself with them. 



14.) No one condemns  you. (Unless you don’t take a bath every day. HAHAHA JOKE. LOVE YOU PEARL)


When it just comes down to it, I’m just glad that destiny guided me towards you guys. YOU are the people I love so unconditionally that I would do anything for you. (Okay. I know someone is going to make a joke about this. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN) 

So here’s a big THANK YOU. For being there. Period.  I only become this ‘deep’ rarely. Mwamwa guys. Mwamwa. More moments to us. ❤


I’m In Trouble.

I never ever realized how much trouble I was in.  You see, it was like one of those moments in movies where you’re watching the main character (who is most of the time, a girl) wandering around in this old abandoned house that has a serial killer or monster or ghost or something inside of it for sure and the scary music starts playing and you just want to scream at the stupid girl to get out of the house, but of course she can’t hear you, so she gets killed in the end. Or raped. Or kidnapped. Something like that.

It must have been like that for me. People must have been screaming at me to get out of it before it even happened, but I must have been deaf. I must have been blind. Handicapped for some reason. Because I never stopped walking towards this troubling thing. 

But now, I’m in it too deep. I’m addicted like a drug; I cannot stop. 

Here I am, and I’m in love. And I’m in so much trouble.

That One Guy

I don’t even remember how we met; or the first moments we had together before everything changed between us. He was older than me by two years, and I thought the world of him. I thought he was practically a god. He was funny, cute, and sarcastic at the same time, he was smart, a fast swimmer, and he even made it to national swimming competitions. I looked up at him all the time.

I think I might have loved him. Or whatever childish emotion I might have held for him before. Whatever. All I know is that he meant a whole lot to me. I never expected anything. Maybe that’s why I fell even harder when I found out that he had a crush on me, too.

I won’t go into the messy details of that first experience of ‘love or whatever you call it’, but it happened a long time ago. It scares me because it’s taking me a while to get over it; seven years to be exact.

Why am I bringing this up now, of all times? He appeared in my dreams last night, and he texted me, all out of the blue (in my dream, of course) and said something long that I don’t remember. But the only thing I do remember is the last line. “I miss all our times together. One more time?”




I miss him. Even though I’ve said a thousand million times that I’ve gotten over him, I still miss him. Even though I’ve gone through numerous crushes, had mutual understandings with other guys, and have actually been in one relationship, in the back of my mind, it’s always him. There are so many what-if’s in my head about him. Pierre.

I don’t know if first loves really never die. All I know is that they really do last a long time.

Raffy Made This

HE was the one who always bugs me at night. He sneaks into my room through my phone. His texts are annoying. He calls me at midnight.

He always gets on my nerves. But he suddenly stopped doing things to make me nervous.

I miss him.


(from the awesome owner herself – I didn’t know he could be so deep. XD)

Link to Guest blogger here: Raffy

Writing Blogger Challenge Day 5

Pearllll~ Let’s join in? 🙂

The View Outside


Today’s prompt is:

Show off 3 of your best blog posts (with links!)

Oooo, this is hard, how do I know which were my best? Ok, shall I go on views? Comments?

Ok, well the most views I had to a post was this one:
What I Learnt From 9 Hours of The Lord of The Rings
I guess it was all those Tolkien fans 😉

The most comments on a post goes to this one:
Insecure Writers July 2012
Not sure why lol

But one of my favourite posts was:
Generating Titles
I really enjoyed writing that post because coming up with titles is probably one of my favourite parts of writing. I have pages and pages of them in my notebooks lol

Wow, ok, so it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Hope you enjoyed the blast from the past, I did 🙂

Happy for you to share…

View original post 43 more words

How to See, and Not Be Heard

(the links to the other sides of the story can be found at the bottom of the page. Thanks for reading.) (Collaboration with Erika, Raffy, Ayrish and Pearl.)

It amuses me how stupid people can be when it comes to the big ‘L’ word. If only they could open their eyes.

She has been my best friend since we were in diapers. We grew up together, went to the same school, walked home together, and all that stuff that little girls do growing up. When we got older, we started talking about other girls behind their backs, and laughing about the ugly shirt that one girl wore. We exchanged friendship bracelets, let each other borrow our clothes, shoes, and whatnot. To make a long story short, we were the best of friends. I was always fiercely protective of her, and I was the first among us to use a curse word; I called someone a ‘bitch’ because she had pulled Pearl’s hair.

Then we got into college, and of course everything changed.

There was a guy who was in the same year we were in. He was practically our university’s ‘Golden Boy’; campus heartthrob, Mr. Popular, everything. He probably got the same attention as ‘The Boy Who Lived’, only I know that the only person he would save is himself.

I have never liked this kind of guy, and I (thought I) knew she didn’t like boys like him, either. I was surprised when she told me she was totally head over heels in love with him. I’m normally very vocal with my feelings, and I would have told her to just give up already, but… I could tell she really loved him. And I’ll be damned if I ruin it for her.

Who knows? Maybe she’ll get something out of this.

But secretly, I hoped she wouldn’t. As she watched him from afar, I watched him, as well. Only I was looking at the other things. Like how he would have lunch with a different girl every other week. Or how he would shower girls with presents one week, and then I’d see the same girl crying her eyes out in the bathroom.

Honestly. I haven’t even talked to him once, and he’d managed to piss me off unintentionally without even coming in contact with me. I shall take lines from one of Taylor Swift’s hits, and say that “I knew he was trouble when he walked in.”

But I can see it in her eyes; love truly is blind. All she can talk about is how nice his hair looks, and how brown his eyes look like in the light, and how handsome he is… I endured it all, her worship of his so-called perfect character. Of course, I tried telling her once or twice… Or five times… About the other stories of other girls, but well, she didn’t listen.


I decided to leave the issue alone then, but something happened. She became his latest victim. I never should have brought her to that bar.

It was one of our classmates birthday, and she had decided to celebrate it at a bar. Among the two of us, I’m more of a party goer. I’m not an alcoholic, but I drink… occasionally. At first, she didn’t want to go, but I pushed her. So, I guess I can say that  I literally pushed her into destiny’s path. (But then again, she had never believed in destiny.)

I’ll say it quickly so that I don’t have to dwell over it; I got drunk and I lost track of her. Once. But the next time I saw her, she was with him. It didn’t register much in my drunken mind, to be honest, and from the texts I received from her (and read the night after), I knew that she was safely home… and had been walked home by the infamous Carri Grant.

One thing led to another, things I don’t even want to know about, but the next thing I knew, you had texted me, ‘I SAID YES!’. A tight smile and ‘congrats’ was the only thing I could offer to them as she brought him up to me, her eyes shining like they always had, so in love. He looked cool, looking like he had just won another battle… I was disgusted with him. He wasn’t even looking at her, damn it. I. Did. Not. Support. This. But what could I do? My best friend was happy. She deserved it. And for once, maybe she could get it.

I was the observer, always the observer, and it has always been that way. However, I failed to realize what it would mean to be the best friend of the Golden Boy’s newest girlfriend. She faded away from me, but I wasn’t afraid of the consequences. As the time she dedicated to him increased, I thought, no matter how bad it sounds, that she would be back in a week or two, and I’d be her best friend again. Everything would become normal again, and then we wouldn’t have to talk about him anymore. (I was waiting patiently for those moments. I missed our old times.)

I started to get worried when a week turned into two, and then into a month. That month turned into two, three, four, and then seven… I, like everyone else, was shocked at this progress. He had never had a girlfriend for this long. In spite of my jealousy; I felt a sense of pride – Pearl had changed him. I knew the girl who had changed this notorious playboy. It seemed true; he had met the girl he had fallen head over heels in love with. He had met someone who he could actually commit to.

Or maybe not.

I don’t even know her name, I don’t know what school she’s from, but I couldn’t care less. All I know is that she would be the reason of one of many sleepless nights. Honestly, I don’t know who I’d like to hit more, that slut, or the bastard who should’ve avoided this situation in the first place.

It fell apart; it was already clear that there were no other words that needed to be said. I was lucky (if you could really call it that) to have been there as well. If I wasn’t there, Pearl might have done something really drastic.

But that’s what friends are for. Being there through good times and bad, and not saying ‘I told you so’. I’ll kill him, (both of them, if time allows) but not yet. I have a job to do, and I’m finally at peace with myself.

At least I have finally been heard.

Author’s note: This story has accompaniments. There are five parts, and the part I am playing now is the part of the poor girl’s best friend. I take this part close to heart, because I have been this friend before. 

Hopefully, you will never experience the pains that come with being cheated on.

Here are the other parts of our story:
♦ How I Stopped to Love – Pearl
How to be a Player  – Raff
How to be The Temptress – Ayrish
How to be ‘Just Okay’ – Kai 


The Now Legal Fangirl

ImageThis picture, I believe, is one of the first pictures we have had together. It’s dated September 10, 2012, so we have officially been friends and vain buddies for about 10 months now. Awwwww the nostalgia. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYIN. Wait. There’s more. Since I had only a limited time to say my wishes for you, I’ll say a lot more here in this post. Mwamwamwa. ONLY. (I know what you’re thinking :P)


Echoing my thoughts earlier, I WISH YOU ALL THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD. You deserve to be happy with our friends, as an artist, as a student, and as an adopted nakdots. You’re ALWAYS there for me and you have always supported me and told me the truth (especially in terms of YOU KNOW WHO EHEM EHEM COUGH ACHOO) and I TOTALLY LOVE YOU FOR THAT. So yeah. Lots of loooove going on here.



I WISH YOU MORE HAPPY MOMENTS. With us, of course. I’m so glad that we’re co-staffers in FORWARD Publications, Yin. And I’m so sure that you’re happy too. In FORWARD, you’re surrounded by the craziest, funnest, handsomest and beautifullest people in the whole wide world. (HAHAHAHAHA) If you need to put a smile on your face, just stop by and I’m sure you’ll be smiling in no time.


I WISH YOUR ARTISTIC TALENTS NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER DIE. EVER. You have a talent that shines like a thousand suns. Don’t ever stop drawing, because it will LITERALLY be the WORST mistake in your entire life. I REPEAT. DON’T. STOP. DRAWING.





I WISH YOU MORE VAIN MOMENTS TO COME. Need I say more? Hohohoho.


Yes, I just posted a picture of Jensen Ackles’ butt.



HEEHEEHEE I have this picture. XD






We have come to the end of this very long birthday greeting, birthday girl 🙂 I really DO hope either of us won that contest. Because either way, you’ll still get at least one signed picture of your idols. Thanks again SO much for changing my life with SuperWhoLock. ❤ And many more fun times to us.


^Personally my favorite picture of you ❤

Happy birthday, Ayin. I love you so much. To NEVERLAND AND BEYOND. Mwahmwahmwahmwah. :* :* *

Oh, and my last wish? Hahaha. I hope I get to check this off of my bucketlist: “Me and Ayin and Ayrish go to the UK because we’re going to fangirl over everything and I want to experience it with them.”

PS. Thanks for inviting me today. Sorry I couldn’t join the whole thing. ❤

PPS. Credits to Alain James Uy, Erika Lagunzad, Ayrish Cuervo, me and Carri Grant Raffy Abenoja for respective shots.

My Unintended

He was everything but planned. Everything but sure. Everything but dealt with. He was a surprise, a trick, a jack in the box popping up after the song. 

He was the one that was always there, but was rarely seen.

She was the one who had eyes that didn’t know how to see.

He became the sun the moon the stars

She became gravity water fire

It never made sense; this never made sense

Both of them just knew that this was unintended. 

When People Let You Down

I’ve been talking about sad things, lately. Forgive me now, since I’m going to talk about another sad occurrence. It’s a sad thing when people let you down. It’s even sadder when you thought that the people involve weren’t capable of letting you down, and yet, in the end, among all the people who could have, they did. And even after approximately seven months, it’s just sad that I’m still affected by it.

One day. That’s all I asked for. I asked them. TWELVE MONTHS IN ADVANCE. If they would be able to come. They said they could. They promised. All of them. My eighteenth birthday came and… let’s say ‘devastated’ is the wrong word for things. 

Now, there might be some of you reading this who are saying that I’m going to start making a huge gigantic fit about my eighteenth birthday. In my culture, we call our eighteenth birthday parties a ‘debut’. It is this one big special event (probably the equivalent of a sweet 16) where all your friends are there, you get to dance with the men of your life, you shed a tear or two while your girlfriends share all their happy moments and dreams for you, with you, and all your relatives are there. 


Now, I can understand if they were busy. I’m not so selfish to think that the world revolves me and I’d expect the entire world to stop turning just so that they could fly over and see me for one night

I do, however, think that it would be almost entirely impossible not to send me a video greeting on my birthday, when all of my other friends did. Heck, one of my cousins even got my favorite basketball team from here to greet me a happy birthday. But the people who matter more to me… They didn’t even say ‘HI’. Not a text on the day of my debut. Nothing. And it hurts more than I can bear. 

A grudge of seven months is not a pretty thing. Especially not when I was over at their place in January and I practically burst into tears seeing everyone all together. They couldn’t even do that for one night, just for me.

And they had the nerve to ask me why I was crying.

No. Until they know that I need an explanation, I will not relent. 

I’m not a spoiled brat. I asked for one night, that’s it. I don’t even like having birthday parties, but because it was my eighteenth, I considered it special.

I’d have thought you would have at least wanted to make me feel loved on my special turning of age ritual. Hm. 

Five words for you.

My heart aches for you.

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